Tuesday, the last day for radiation

Hopeful today. Randy came home with 2 bunches of flowers and a ballon taht said "Get ready, get set, get well". So sweet of him. Oh, a card too.

Got to clinic alittle early. They took me early again. The girl who was to give me the wig, forgot it. Bummer. They let me bring my mask home. I took it wierd. Will probably burn it sometime.

Waited forever for Dr. McDonald. Bob the nurse really upset me, he told me the effects of this radiation will get worse before it gets better and that by 3 weeks I may be able to speak and swallow alitlle better. Started to cry. that means I still may be a mess at the wedding. I so do not want that. I am so upset. They both told me I needed to rest alot, keep hydrated,& try to eat.

Randy filmed me ringing the bell. You get to ring this bell when you have completed your treatment. It was louder than I thought but freeeing to do it.

Didn't get out till almost 5 PM. Argh. Traffic is bad. Tired when I got home, of course. Back to the couch with Cherie. Tried to processed some for for myself tonight and got all gaggy again. Well that's out now.

Got a new batch of food last night. So had some of it tonight. Yummy.

Monday, 30th day

Got a call beforelunch that I could go in early for treatment. Of course, I went. No one was there at all. Went so fast, Randy didn't even come in with me. I did it on my own. The radiation techs were proud of me. 1 student even siad I was here on her first day. My first day was bad. Anyway, I'll miss all my friends today.

Had a slight breakdown today when I was cooking. well really reheating , lunch. The smells got to me and I started gagging and had to leave the kitchen. First time that ever happened, Bob the nurse said it may happen.

Run quite a few errands but wanted to rest some as we are going to a CSC dinner and lecture by Dr. Rushing. I knew they wouldn't have anything I could eat, so brought a smoothie.
Spoke to Dr. Rushing before the meeting, he remembered us. The lecture was on managing the effects of Chemo. Very interesting. I was tired when we got home. Hungry too.

Sunday, August 29th

Feel abit more rested today. Not sure why. Still wake up choking all night.
Randy has Quartet practice this afternoon. I hope he is not gone all afternoon.
Well he was gone till 5PM. I feel lonely when he is gone. I miss him.
Coughing up lessens by Sunday. Neck is so red. Starting to itch some. The Jeans cream helps.

Saturday, August 28th

Today a Belly Dance friend came over to teach me chair yoga. It was very refreshing. I will continue to do what she taught me.

I felt energised enough to drive to Bloomington to see the folks and swim. The heat has returned. Of course I have to cover up my neck. It looks bad but really doesn't hurt. However, once I got on 37 south I realized driving was not a good idea. Spacey and "tired" feeling. Well I kept going. Not smart.

Had a good swim and visit with my parents. Took Cherie with me of course. She enjoyed smelling everything. She hates the water.

Coming home was terrible. Very tired. Finally had to stop in Martinsville to take a nap. Still hard driving but finally got home. OK so no more driving alone long distances.

Randy was gone all afternoon and most of the evening at a Quartet thing. He enjoyed himself.

I was sound asleep on the couch when he got home.

Friday, 29th treatment

Same type of day. Nothing special. But so glad I only ave 2 treatments left! Wahoo. By Friday, I am so exhasuted. Can't wait to get home to my couch.

Thursday

Coughing up phlem all night. Little sleep. Try not to wake Randy. All gets better by 10 or 11 AM.
Treatent without incident. One of my "cancer friends" siad she'd give me one of her wigs. That mibght be fun. Have to shampoo it first. But cool. The same people arerive every afternoon for their treatments so we talk. Sort of a support group unofficially.

Swallowing is so painful. Smoothies are the only thing that feels good. Trying to grind up the food people have brought. Randy is enjoying not having to cook.

Wednesday

Another day of the same, tiredness, blah feeling, coughing, increased phelgm.

We got new phones, verizon Ally, which is Droid like. We have struggled with all apps, etc. Can't get the blue tooths to work either. So Randy and I went to a class this morning at Verizon. It was helpful. Go figure.

Treatments are going well, less stressful. Too tired to go to the thyroid support group tonight. Maybe next month.

Tired to sleep in bed tonight.

Tuesday, 5 treatments left to go

Another bad day. Think this will be my life for awhile. Slept a few hours total. I cough up phelgm all night. Sorry if this is gross. It's annoying and the coughing is painful.

Met Dr. McDonald, I do not have pneumonia and my blood work was ok, white blood cell count not up and hemoglobin only slightly down. He declined the G-tube, thinks I can make it. Gave me script for liquid pain med. It works.

I just feel so bad. I look bad. My husband, Randy, is very helpful, makes calls for me, runs erands, does what he can for me. He says he feels helpless and is angry that I have to suffer. He has not gone to a group meeting yet. I will work on that. I think it will help, I like my group eventhough I didn't go yesterday. I cannot talk at all and the constant coughing up phlegm would be disruptive.

I do very little, trying to do laundry. I am so tired. But I look forward the end of my treatments next week.

Monday, 6 treatments left

Bad day. Slept terrible on the couch. Feel like I have a fever. 100 degrees. Feel crappy. Got to see Dr. Walker and Dr. Lager before my treatment. They ordered chest x-ray and CBC. I am to try an allergy OTC to dry to dry up the phlegm. May get a nausous med. tomorrow. She asked about G- tube, said it wasn't out of the question even thhis late in the game. My skin actually will get worse the first two weeks AFTER radiation stops. Dr. Walker says it doesn't make sense but it happens. Great. So could be bad at wedding. Will get new skin medication. Great again.

Made it thru treatment okay. Just so tired. Couldn't go to group. My voice is less than a whisper this week.I had Randy ear candle my ears. They feel slightly better, especially the right one. Which hurts the worse all the time anyway. IBprofen takes off the edge off my jaw pain. At least I don't want to rip my head off.

About 6 PM, the increased phlegm has started. Why? The treatment? My doctor friend Ted told me the radiation makes the cells slough off so it makes sense that 3 hours later I have more problems. Why can't the radiation doctors tell you these things? Here's to a great evening.

Monday

My thoart is really sore. Razor blades are here. Darn. I thought I was going to get by without this. Crap.

Slept on couch last night at least Randy can sleep.

Sunday, August 22

Slept poorly of course. Coughing, hacking up phlegm (sorry guys, it's gross).

Got myself together, as my friend Diane is coming to visit. We went to Walgreens for some items I needed. Going to try Lactose pills, chewable, to see if I can tolerate dairy. So went to get yogurt. We had a great time visiting. Thnak you for the gifts, the purse is way too cute. The necklace is beautiful. Thankyou.

Yogurt makes the pills so down easier than applesauce. Tried opening the capsules and dumping the medicine in the yogurt to make it easier. Well it's easier but tastes TERRIBLE. Not doing this again. Swallowing is getting so hard.

Randy finally got home after 8 PM. Went to bed but only stayed till 1:30 AM. Got up coughing and choking to death. Finally threw up , all phlegm. Thoart is killing me. The Razor blades are here.

Saturday, August 21st

Well, last night I couhged for 3 hours straight. Finally got up and took a sleeping pill. Slept 4 hours. Feel extremely poorly today. Feel all out. Don't want to do anything. Stayed on couch all day. Finally around 5 or so I finally could get up and take the dog for a walk with Randy. Randy was nice and hung out with me.

Decided to not sleep in bed tonight and keep Randy up all night. He has a gig tomorrow. Slept on couch.

Friday, 7 treatments left

Fogot to give kudos to my dad for cleaning my kitchen floor when they were here. Sorry, Dad.

Busy day, many errands. Got new anroidish phones. We can't even figure out how to answer it. Took us hours to figure how to get into the menu. Frustrating. Will have to find the direction book.

Friday nights are not the same anymore. Always Pizza night. Not now, I can't tolerate the cheeese , let alone the bread right now. Miss it. Miss my salty snacks too. Oh well, It'll get better. So I had spagetti.

My coughing seems to get worse as the day goes on. Starting coghing before bedtime.

Thursday, 8 days of treatments left to go

Mom helped out alot today, by doing laundry and cleaning out the refrigerator. It's been awhile.

Randy got home, did two jobs. Missed him. Glad he is home.

Treatment was delayed 45 min. argh! Able to tolerate withut med, butr ws getting nervous. Will see how tomorrow goes. Other patients can't beleive I do it without medication. Talked to quite afew patients today while waiting.

So much pain in Right side of head, took 3 IBprofens on way home. Coughing is slacking up. Feel like sitting on couch all evening. Maybe a margarita will help.

Wednesday

Terrible start to this day. Had to get Randy to airport for a job. Had a terrible time driving. Very unsteady , spacey, "loopy" as Randy called. Got him to airport late so he missed his flight. Had to wait for next one.
Slowly came home and went back to bed.

Bad headache, pain in jaws, mostly right side. Ear on right feels "full". Feels like a pencil is sticking thruogh my jaws. Went to Vista Wellness for massage. Laura knows just how to "fix" my problems as they come up. She made the pain totally go away. I feel so much better.

Mom and Dad came to stay with me and take me to my treatments. After treatment today the pain is back 50%. 9 treatments left after today.

The weather was so nice this evening, we sat out on the patio, finally, till it got dark.

Tuesday, 11 treatments to go

The day started out great today. Judy Scofield came by to visit and brought food. Wow. We had a good visit.

After this treatment, there are 10 left. Wow. Today, I did the treatment without any meds at all. Good for me. Met with Dr. Walker, the resident and Dr. McDonald. He's happy. Found out I'll get 66 gray (used to be rads)in total.
Really tired after treatment. Dozed on way home, can barely keep eyes open to write this. So tired.

Monday, 22nd. day of radiaiton

Wow, can't believe we are almost through with treatment. Treatment went well. They keep forgetting my music. I need to remind them before I get on the table.

Had a busy day actually. Went to the Look good , feel better class before treatment. The lady giving the class was not prepared. Disorganized.Wasted alot of time "getting things". She was strange too, too much collagen in her lips, too much makeup. Anyway, I made it thru makeup but missed the hat and scarf tying. Of course the thing I really wanted to know about. She said I good make an appointment with her and she would go over that with me some other day. I might. She is weird. I could do better. Wonder if I could get a job doing this art another facility.

I also would like to volunteer at the Cancer Support Community when I am able. I went to group tonight, wore vocall amplifier. Helped some. Group was okay. One of the ladies brought in hats she didn't need anymore, so I took 4. So fun.

Sunday, August 15th

Did not sleep well last night, coughed all night. My best friend from high school, Nancy Ramsey, came by to visit. We had a good visit. Then our friends, Johnnie and Chris came over to watch the Colts game. Still talked too much again. Thoart really sore tonight. Randy gone all day working at concession stand at Lucas Oil Stadium. He's exhausted.

Cherie was bad today. She ran off from me today over to the retention pond through numerous people's back porches. Finally trapped her in some one's garage. So mad at her. She wouldn't come to me, I couldn't yell for her. She knew to come to me so she didn't. Put her in her crate for awhile. Then she climbed UP on my desk 2 times. Argh.

Saturday, August 14th

Got my wig today, it is beautiful. Going to wear it to the reunion party tongiht.

40th High School reunion party tonight. Got to see lots of old friends and catch up. Good to see Dorthy Davis. Randy was a big help and actually prepared a short speech about my situation. We danced 3 times. Nice. I helped so I didn't have to keep repeating myself.I did talk too much. Sore thoart. We got home late. Tried to rest most of the day so I could tolerate tonight. It worked.

Friday, 19th day of radiation

Tried on wigs today, since I will need one next month. It was fun. Found a great one. Randy loved it.

Picked up the DCI tickets early and met Annie to give her the ticket. Annie is my son, Aaron's girlfriend.

Got to treatment early, so they took my early. Yeah again. Got to DCI show in time to see Aaron play the national anthem with Star United. Stayed to watch two other bands. So tired on Fridays, went home to rest then come back to watch the end of the DCI World Class compettion and see Aaron play again with Star of Indiana Alumni. they were great. Got standing ovation. Bill Cook and wife were there. Nice. I was so proud of him.

Exhausted when we got home. Busy day. Voice is so bad. Coughing is still a problem.

Thursday, 18th day of radiation

Hard time getting going today but have to as my friend, Jeanette is coming over to help me with some wedding things I need to get done.

Had a Great time with Jeanetee, she got my whole album done, all I need is to tape it all done. I would not have gotten this done without her.

Went shopping with 3 of the quartet guys for new shirts up north. Got nice shirts for all and on sale. Good day.

Treatment without difficulty. So tired tonight. Can't do a thing.

Wednesday, August 11 th

I wake up every day with terrible headache. Like a hangover but I've quit drinking. It takes so long to get feeling half way normal in the morning. It's pitiful. Swallowing is so uncomfortable, smoothies are a mainstay.

Had a massage and energy work this morning. My massage therapsit is wonderful. She seems to know what my body needs each time.

Treatment went ok today. One more down. 17th treatment today. Total 31, so 14 left. Over half way. Yeah!!

Monday, 15th day of radiation

Beginning 4th week of radiation. Treatment went well. I am much more calm now with the mask. Excited to go to group tonight. 2 new people came back. Talked about

Tuesday, August 10th

Tuesday, August 10th is finally here.  We finally get to meet with Dr. Rushing.  He was highly recommeneded by doctors at University of Iowa. He was a graduate of University of Illinois 1976, so we were there at the same time. Weird.

He was very nice and spent over an hour with us. He explaned all the types of cancer, especially my two. Carcinoma and sarcoma.  The pathology report came back from Dr. DeLellis. He confirmed the rare carcinosarcoma of the parathyroid. Second case reported.

He said he is the doctor I need, as it is a sarcoma. So glad; I waited. We will get another CT of chest in September due to the spots found on the last CT scan down by Dr. McDonald.  It hope it that the spots will not get larger. I'm hopeful.  

So I will not begin chemotherapy until after the wedding. Yeah! I think I'll still get a wig. This really made my day. I have been dreading  this appointment. Now I am calmer.

Had my treatment early today before the appointment with Dr. Rushing. Then had to meet with Dr. McDonald.  I am being started on Neurotin now for the cough. Also wants me to stop the Valium before radiation and try xanax. Says I am getting too much Valium by end of week. I will try.

We went to Bob Evans for brunch.  I am totally exhausted.  Could barely make it to the pharmacy to get the new med. Cherie and I  just sat on the couch.  I really wanted to go to  yoga at the support community but couldn't do it.  Too exhausted.

Sunday, August 8th

Slept in. Randy went to spend time with Jess and Brenden. I did laundry. Tired. Did very little. My best freind's daughters wedding was today in Washington DC, wish I could have gone. Sad. Lonely but Cherie helps. Too hot and humid to sit outside.

Saturday

Mandy leaves today to go to Chicago to go to a concert and meet up with friends. Ran some errands which tired me out. Had to rest before the reunion. Randy and I attended his 40th high school reunion in Mooresville.  He had a fairly same class , 1992.  There were about 60 people in attendance. His quartet sang 3 songs. People were rude and did not listen. I was worn out by the time we got home.  Neck/head is killing me. Vicodin or IBproferin 600mg helps.  Not a bad day.

Friday,14th day of radiation

Still  having trouble with the gagging. I know it is annoying Mandy and Randy. I cannot control it, no one understands. Treatment today was at 2:30. No other patients  were there. Where is everyone?  Anyway it was nice. Session went smoothly. So nice.

Randy was gone working all day then had to change and go to sing the national anthem at the Fever game.  He loves singing. Mandy and I went to dinner at new Mexican restaurant.  Had difficulty swallowing.  Had such agreat time with my daughter this week. I miss her so much. But you cannot dwell on things like that or it overwhelms you.  I love my children and they are doing well.  I do not worry about them.Worry does no one any good and is a waste of time.

I have neglected, in my past blogs, of the increasing pain I am having in my head and neck. It is along my jaw line aound the back of head and down into cervical spine.  My skin is beginning to get red. Not sore or painful. But it reals "hot".  Am using "Jeans cream".  Cooling. 

The feeling of being tired is hard to deal with.  I just cannot do what I'm used to doing. I haven't asked for outside help yet but it is coming.

Thursday,13th day of radiation

Better day today.  Still having the gagging feeling but the new medicine seems to work some. Treatment was hour late today. No trouble with mask today.  Met some new people just starting radiation. Helpful to talk to others. 
 Had lunch at Wanda's .   Mandy and I hanging out tonight.

Wednesday, August 4th

The sleep study went better than my last one. Slept all night I believe.Had gotten a wedge pillow to keep me elevated due to my reflux and it made sleeping so much better. Why didn't I get one earlier?

I was still tired so went back to bed when I got home. Woke up with a fever,  100.8 degrees.  Chilling and shaking etc. Still trying to hack up this mucus plug. Not really hungry. Randy pured some pineapel for me and that felt goos on my thoart.

Feel so crappy and Amanda , me and mom were supposed to go shopping. Don't; think I can do it. Fever down to 100.2 so left for appointment with Dr. Halum up in Carmel.  She was running an hour late. Argh. Terrible time with the laryngoscopy, too gaggy.  She had a few suggestions for the cough, so have 2 more prescriptions. Also wants me to see a Speech therapist for swallow/aspiration issues.

Feel blah.  Since it was so late, we stayed up north. Mom and Mandy had lunch and I had a smoothie. Pretty good. Shopped a bit a Coldwater Creek, nothing fits Mom or she doesn't like it.  Went to IU for treatment.  Did ok. Another appointment with Dr. McDonald, Mandy and Mom got to meet him. No big revelations, no pathology from out East yet.

Mom brought dinner, so had a nice meal. I have to chopped everything up with food processor. But it was still good. Tired, went to bed early.

Tuesday, 11th day of radiation

 . All day I have been haveing symptoms of choking, gagging, and trying to vomit.  Fun, huh?  I feel like a have a "mucus plug", as the ENT's call it. I know this will sound gross, but it is a build up of sinus drainage that collects in one big hunk and sides down your thoart and stays there.  I can feel it, I can feel it move.  All attempts to get it out so far are fruitless.It is nasty and disgusting, believe me.  I've been having this happen ever since my sinuis susrgery in December.

Well I couldn't stand the mask and lying flat for treatment today. Dr. McDonald had not suggestions.  So took another Valium and prayed I wouldn't choke to death. I made it through but with a lot of anxiety.

My daughter, Dr. Mandy, was here when we got home. So nice to h ave her home for awhile.She's between rotations so gets a week off.  Had to do asleep study tonight at Johnson Memorial Hospital. I hope I can make it though this ordeal.

Monday, 10th day of radiation

Woke up with terrible headache. Drug self around all morning. Throat is sore and I feel "gaggy" all day.  Had a massage and energy work done today, I feel so much better to go to radiation now.  Had to wait again for 45 min. for treatment. Took 2 Valiums.  Tolerated mask ok, worried all day I would throw up.

Went to cancer support group tonight. Have been waiting for 3 weeks to get into a group.  It was nice. Hope to be able to continue to go.  Cherie was not crated  while I went to group as a test. She did fine, only tore up a kleenex.  Proud of her.  She is a nervous Nellie in the crate.

Love her, she is so sweet and lovable.  Going to order a wig on line. Excited.  Amanda is coming home tomorrow for 4 days. Will be nice for her to go with me to treatments and hopefully meet Dr. McDonald.

Sunday, first day of August

Another  blah day, not as bad as yesterday though.  Did some laundry/ Made chili and cole slaw.  That's it for my day.  Went to a friends and family picnic, had a good time. Tiring as usual.