Thursday, September 23rd

I apologize to my readers that I have not written for 10 days. ALOT has happened in 10 days. I will try to condense this logically, if I can. Bear with me. I think Chemo brain is hitting early.

On Tuesday, we met with Dr. Rushing , a wonderful doctor. He said the spots on my loungs and liver had grown 1mm. So, chemo is a definite. We probably spent an hour with him. He is very personable. The shocker is chemo is to start Monday. The Monday right after Sarah's wedding. Ugh. Then Tuesday is my birthday. Double ugh. I HAVE to be admitted to the IU Simon Cancer hospital for 5 days! Shocked. Cried. Feel numb. He wants to start me on Ridilan. States it will give me more energy for the wedding. Whatever, just do it , get it started.

Wednesday, the 15th, I spent the day, packing, checking my lists of things to take up to the wedding. The only thing I forgot was Randy's dance shoes. Malte and David arrived mid afternoon and we had a good visit. The dog like them, she jumped up on David's lap and slept. We went to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Margarita's. This was my first meal in a restaurant in months. Malte was my foreign exchange student for Sarah's senior year of high school. Her idea for the exchange student. We would have had a student the year before but we were too late with our application. I say it was for the best. He was perfect.Never complained. Did his own laundry. He loved the bread, just regular white/wheat bread. He said they did not have "soft" bread in Germany. I could not keep enough in the house.

Thursday, the 16th, we left for Michigan. My car is loaded full. Good thing I sent stuff up with Sarah, or we'd have to take the van. Not bad trip 3 1/2 hours. We drove up to Union Pier, Michigan, where the wedding is to be. Of course we couldn't check in. Went to Melodie's cabin and hung out till it was time to meet my daughters for our spa appointments. We had a good time at this spa. We got manis and pedis. Newman went with us and he behaved nicely. Newman is Sarah's french bulldog. He is a cutie. Weather is yucky, windy, rainy, cold. Sounds like a hurricane in this cabin.

Friday, the 17th, was a very busy day and exasperating due to the Inn owner. He is passive/aggressive. Says you can to anything but then says it can't be that way, his way is better. Mel and I gave up. Looking at the weather channel, it is supposed to rain tomorrow. We need a tent. Sarah doesn't want a tent.

I will finish this catch up tomorrow.

Monday, September 13th.

Five days to the wedding. Wow. Sarah picked up her rental car and we loaded it up with wedding stuff. Less for Mom to haul up in three days this way.

Still little things I needed to get still. Ran errands with Randy. Went to my cancer support group tonight even though I could speak loud. It was nice to see everyone and even meet a few new people. Had a good time. Laughed.

Sunday, September 12th

Lazy day. Still had to go out on errands. Missed most of the Colts football game. Oh well, they lost miserably anyway. Worked on decorations, talked, walked the dogs. Had a good day. The weather was beautiful. Made hamburgers for dinner. Woo hoo.

Saturday, September 11th.

Sad day 9 years ago. Watched some of the tributes and speeches this morning. Sarah and I are off again to search for supplies. Enjoying time together. The dogs seem to be settling down. They will play together. Then crash.

Randy gone all day to Penrod. Another year I couldn't go. Oh well, maybe next year. Rained this morning. The first rain we've had since July? Nice anyway. Ordered pizza when he got home. Had much more trouble eating it. Took an hour and lots of coughed to eat one slice. No more for awhile.

Three hours is about my energy level right now, out of the house. Inside I can do laundry all day, at my own pace. I even am cooking small meals for Sarah and Randy. I am swallowing so much better now. Do not have to puree foods anymore. Can take pills with water. So better.

The redness o my neck is all bur gone. No one would know. Skin in not dry or peeling. So I am all good for the wedding, my goal. However, my voice is still a whisper. 4 weeks now. Doublet it will be back by Saturday. Oh well. I look good, that's all I wanted.

Friday, September 10th

Yea, Sarah is here. Had to pick her up at airport at 5:15 AM. That's the only part I hate. Too early. We all tried to go back to bed for awhile. Everyone slept but me of course. The two dogs will take a bit of getting used to each other.

Busy day. Off to dressmaker's to get the wedding dress bustled. Flower Factory to get supplies to finish to decorations. I'm exhausted after three hours.

Big day today. Actually ate a Chickfil A sandwich. Wow. Took me a half hour but I did it and waffle fries. Good day. So glad Sarah is here and I get to spend sometime with her alone before all the craziness starts.

The dogs are still spatting. Newman wants her to play and she just wants to lay around. They'll get better.

Thursday, September 9th

This is a momentous day. I feel pretty good. I hung out with my husband all day, well mostly. We ran errands allday. Had lunch with a friend at Olive Garden. Yum.

Got a BIG check from one of my cancer policies. Yeah. Straight to savings. That policy was a good decision to get last Oct.

Tonight I ate BREAD. Yes, I can't remember the last time I had bread. A month? Anyway it was delicious. Plan on pizza tomorrow.

Also was able to yawn and "pop" my left ear. I can hear out of it now.

Good day all around. Sarah will be here tommorrow. Yeah. Nine days to wedding, Can't believe it, but it's finally here.

Wednesday, September 8th

All the dead skin ahs peeled off my neck. It looks good. No redness. No pain. Left ear continues to be painful but less than last week.

Had a massage today but she could still not loosened up my neck. It is "locked". My need to visit my therapist in Columbus. Doubt I could get in with her before the wedding. Would be nice though.

Randy gone all day working. I couldn't get interested in doing aything. So bored. There is much to do but can't get into it.

Sort of sad or depressed, not sure which. Doesn't matter. The day is over.

Tuesday, September 7th

My radiation burn is fading rapidy. It is drying and peeling off. Keeping putting radiation cream om it. I may be ok by the wedding and not need a scarf.

Did alot of internet buying today. Found some leopard dance shoes for the wedding, I hope they get here in time. Found another wig cheaper on line then was in the wig place. Got the dog a harnes sfor the car, it will keep her from hopping back and forth. She can be distracting. Got her a dress and a coat for winter too. Yeah , yeah,I know, dressing up the dog.

Randy had chorus practice tonight. Sherry,girl from work,came by with a carrot cake and homemade applesause. MMMM. We had a good visit.

Monday September 6th

Labor day. Last year I went back to work this weekend. Not so this year. I miss work. I miss my fellow workers.I feel bad by putting extra work on them.

Mom and Dad took me to the grocery store, which I needed done. They left after lunch to go visit my aunt and uncle. Randy got home about 3 PM. See nice to have him home finally.

Watched a moive from the red box, Backup Plan. It was good.

Sunday, September 5th

I really miss Randy. He calls me so I can heaqr his voice eventhough I can't talk. Trying to rest my voice, to not strian it.

My folks are her to keep me company. While he is gone. Pretty much another boring day. Tried to knit some.

My swallowing is getting a bit better. Can use applesauce now instead of pudding to take my pills.

I am sleeping better. Less wakening up to cough stuff up. Gross huh?

Saturday, September 4th

The weather has really changed. It is relaly chilly today. Down in the 50"s. Tuesday it was hot and the driest August in all recorded history. So windy, hurts my ears.

Dog is driving me nuts, all she wants to do is smelly everything. It is annoying. Sniffing everything.

Went to library, got lots of cookbooks for cancer and on chemotherapy again. Need to reread some thngs.

Mom and Dad came after lunch. Watched football with Dad. Mom made dinner.
Had a nice evening.

Thursday, September 2nd.

Randy in and out today. Getting ready for a job in West Virginia over the weekend. I will miss him terribly. I will keep myself busy. Hoping to sew Sarah a purse. Do my chair yoga and rest. My friend, Jo, came by and we did some shopping.

Got my hair cut real short tonight. So it will be easier to wear my wig and if my hair falls out, it won't be so distressing.

Had a massage today, helps quite a bit. My neck is so tight and my ears still hurt so bad. Usually she makes my ears feel better immediately. Not so today. Just a dull ache now versus stabbing pain. So guess it is better overall.

It has been so helpful to have people bring in food. What a treat to just open up the freezer or fridge and nuke something. I will definitely payback the gesture when I am asked to for someone else.

Could not nap today but rested watching reruns of Glee.

Wednesday, September 1st.

Wow nothing to do today except rest and try to increase my fluid intake per Doctor's orders. I've settled on a insulated container with a straw , so if I can consume 3 of these a day I will be doing okay. I did manage to take an hour nap today. I am not a napper so it was weird but I needed it. Since I am sleeping only 4 hours a night.

I want to thank my husband for being so patient and taking me to almost all of my treatments. He never complained and was always there for me. Thanks, Honey.

The skin on my neck is really red and itchy. The cream they gave me helps. I have to keep it covered from the sun also. If I didn't mention it before the redness during treatment increases through out the week so by Friday your skin is so hot to the touch and "burning". I had to use cold compresses on some days to knock out the burning feeling.

Lazy day.